I've been so busy lately sometimes I get lost. I just need two more weeks and I'm done with the semester. I just have to take a final next week and one this week and Im done. Oh I also forgot one final for swimming on Thursday. I dont count it as a final because it will be easy, but I do have to remember what everything means. Especially the IMs and the cycles and when do they change. Its not so hard, but it can mess with you.
I've been thinking about the future too much especially how I will be leaving to UT Austin next semester. There are a couple of things I will miss dearly. They are my parents, brother and best friends. Im sure I will get homesick real soon and will want to come back, but I have to remain strong and achieve my goals. My six closest friends will be missed dearly. They have helped me so much with coming out and helping me with my relationships that I dont know how I can ever repay them. They have done so much for me the list and experiences are to long to be written down.
I try to spend as much time with them as possible. Not only my friends, but also my parents and my brother. My brother has complained that he doesnt want me to go and he will miss me a lot, it makes me sad when he tells me because I know I will miss him a lot. We're only a year apart and we have been through a lot. My mom will also miss me a lot and she has also told me and I can see it when she tells me and that also makes me sad. Im sure I will cry when they leave me and I will cry with my friends no doubt about that.
I have to make the most of the time I have here at home while I still can.
On another note, I will be leaving this weekend, well taking off Friday, to go paintballing. Im excited, but the person I wanted to go will not be joining us so Im a little bummed because of it. It's alright a weekend filled with paintballing is very exciting and fun.
Wednesdays I dont have class and tomorrow I have to wake up really early for a meeting. I usually wake up at 9 am everyday, but tomorrow I will be waking up at 7 am!! That is way too early for me, then I can come home and sleep some more and do the online test that I need in order for me to be done with the class.
What else..?
We've been putting Christmas decorations which is always fun for me and Ive liked so much. Christmas is probably the best time of the year! I love it. Not because of the presents, but because the family always gets united and we make lots of parties. Its fun. Its the spirit. The joy. Happiness. Ah! Im getting excited already, but I have to remain focused on my schoolwork then I can let loose.
So its been cold these past few days and Im hating it with a passion. Me and cold are not in good terms and never have been. I rather take of layers in the summer than freeze myself even when I have layers of clothes.
That's it for now...
Laters.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
From movies to now...
Thursday night was intense not only for the movie, but also for what happened on that day. So I arrived at the movie cinema around 6:45 pm, but movie was at midnight. Well guess what? There was already a good amount of line so we got there at the right time too. After about 2 minutes a group of guys walked behind us then a big group of students from a high school walked behind the other guys. The line started getting long fast.
The boy I had been waiting to see came and he looked handsome! I didnt tell him although I should have, but the words just didnt come out. Theres something about him that I cant take my eyes off of. No its not his package its his cute face, lol. It was good now it was my friend Lu and him. We started talking about movies and how I had seen none of the ones they were talking about.
After some chatting problems began. I had told Lu that there was this cute guy from the group of high school students and Im not sure if thats what triggered Le (the boy I like to be with) to get a little angry. I dont know what started it, but after that I could feel some tension. Like at 9:30 pm my other friend La showed up. La and Le got along pretty quickly. One thing led to the other and the next thing was that La my bff was siding with him. I felt betrayed and I had gotten mad at this point.
La and Le moved to an outlet to charge La's phone. They were talking nothing unusual, but I was still pissed. At 10:30 they started letting us in. I had Le's ticket and I was still upset so I just handed it to give him. I didnt talk to him for the rest of the movie. Well I did, but it was rather more of 3 bad words. When I had cussed at him its when I wanted to just leave, but I would have missed out on one of the best movies ever, so I stayed. Once the movie had started my anger had vanished and all I wanted was to hold his hand. Psh yeah right that wasnt going to happen after we were mad at each other. I thought he wanted too so I made the effort, but it was only my imagination playing tricks with me.
After the movie was over we walked to our cars. The nigh was icy cold. He didnt have a jacket and I felt bad for him so I offered to take him home. He said he could walk, but I wasnt going to let him. It was really really cold. Once we got into the car I had remembered I had a jacket in the back and I grabbed it and wrapped him in it. Although he protested against it at first, but after just ignoring him and wrapping him he accepted. It made me smile in my head. I dropped him off and later we both apoligized for our behavior.
Friday, I had a video game night with my friends and then went ice skating, but when we got there it was closing so we had just gone for nothing. My friend had wasted his gas for nothing and I got once again mad at my other friend for making us go. We then came back to my house, but my friend had to go home so he left. It just left me and another friend, Lug, we played some COD MW2 and I killed him, but he did well for his first time.
Saturday, oh yeah me and my bro put up christmas lights outside. My neighbor asked us if we were for hire, but we just laughed. I dont know if he was serious or not. After we had finished and turned them on our neighbors cheered for us and we cheered too. It was a fun day. I then went to visit my friend at his store. I bought two games and membership to play online for xbox. For those of you who know what Im talking about well yeah. Those of you who dont well its a membership where you buy and can renew if you were once a member. This membership allows you to play online with other people from around the world in a mutliplayer match for any game. The games I bought were Halo: Reach and COD: Black Ops. I chilled at his store for a while and played the wii. Some random kid walked up to me and started making a convo with me and I let him play the game I was playing. He then had to leave and we said our byes and he left. It was very random too. I then went back to talk to my friend when two of my other friend came in. It was cool but weird because they were dressed up real nice. They were going clubbing, but stopped by to say hi to my friend at the store. I thought that was random.
We talked for a while and told them where to go eat because they had asked me. We then said our byes and told them to be careful because they dressed up slutty although they arent sluts, trust me. I then left because my feet were aching from standing up all day and working outside.
Sunday, I did nothing I was just really lazy and tired. I took a nap and did some homework then went to bed. Nothing interesting or special happened.
Today, I got set up for a movie. I got there, but my friends were already inside and they had my ticket. I couldnt buy a ticket because it was an early screening of the movie faster. No one waited for me so I got mad and left. To add to it I drove and wasted my gas for nothing. Im still mad about it right now. The anger has washed away with the acceptance letter to the University of Texas at Austin School of Engineering. That made my whole night! I got into my dream school!
This is a long post, but its recapping the days I missed to post a post. Sorry that sounded redundant. Well until next post and see what happens from here on...
Laters.
The boy I had been waiting to see came and he looked handsome! I didnt tell him although I should have, but the words just didnt come out. Theres something about him that I cant take my eyes off of. No its not his package its his cute face, lol. It was good now it was my friend Lu and him. We started talking about movies and how I had seen none of the ones they were talking about.
After some chatting problems began. I had told Lu that there was this cute guy from the group of high school students and Im not sure if thats what triggered Le (the boy I like to be with) to get a little angry. I dont know what started it, but after that I could feel some tension. Like at 9:30 pm my other friend La showed up. La and Le got along pretty quickly. One thing led to the other and the next thing was that La my bff was siding with him. I felt betrayed and I had gotten mad at this point.
La and Le moved to an outlet to charge La's phone. They were talking nothing unusual, but I was still pissed. At 10:30 they started letting us in. I had Le's ticket and I was still upset so I just handed it to give him. I didnt talk to him for the rest of the movie. Well I did, but it was rather more of 3 bad words. When I had cussed at him its when I wanted to just leave, but I would have missed out on one of the best movies ever, so I stayed. Once the movie had started my anger had vanished and all I wanted was to hold his hand. Psh yeah right that wasnt going to happen after we were mad at each other. I thought he wanted too so I made the effort, but it was only my imagination playing tricks with me.
After the movie was over we walked to our cars. The nigh was icy cold. He didnt have a jacket and I felt bad for him so I offered to take him home. He said he could walk, but I wasnt going to let him. It was really really cold. Once we got into the car I had remembered I had a jacket in the back and I grabbed it and wrapped him in it. Although he protested against it at first, but after just ignoring him and wrapping him he accepted. It made me smile in my head. I dropped him off and later we both apoligized for our behavior.
Friday, I had a video game night with my friends and then went ice skating, but when we got there it was closing so we had just gone for nothing. My friend had wasted his gas for nothing and I got once again mad at my other friend for making us go. We then came back to my house, but my friend had to go home so he left. It just left me and another friend, Lug, we played some COD MW2 and I killed him, but he did well for his first time.
Saturday, oh yeah me and my bro put up christmas lights outside. My neighbor asked us if we were for hire, but we just laughed. I dont know if he was serious or not. After we had finished and turned them on our neighbors cheered for us and we cheered too. It was a fun day. I then went to visit my friend at his store. I bought two games and membership to play online for xbox. For those of you who know what Im talking about well yeah. Those of you who dont well its a membership where you buy and can renew if you were once a member. This membership allows you to play online with other people from around the world in a mutliplayer match for any game. The games I bought were Halo: Reach and COD: Black Ops. I chilled at his store for a while and played the wii. Some random kid walked up to me and started making a convo with me and I let him play the game I was playing. He then had to leave and we said our byes and he left. It was very random too. I then went back to talk to my friend when two of my other friend came in. It was cool but weird because they were dressed up real nice. They were going clubbing, but stopped by to say hi to my friend at the store. I thought that was random.
We talked for a while and told them where to go eat because they had asked me. We then said our byes and told them to be careful because they dressed up slutty although they arent sluts, trust me. I then left because my feet were aching from standing up all day and working outside.
Sunday, I did nothing I was just really lazy and tired. I took a nap and did some homework then went to bed. Nothing interesting or special happened.
Today, I got set up for a movie. I got there, but my friends were already inside and they had my ticket. I couldnt buy a ticket because it was an early screening of the movie faster. No one waited for me so I got mad and left. To add to it I drove and wasted my gas for nothing. Im still mad about it right now. The anger has washed away with the acceptance letter to the University of Texas at Austin School of Engineering. That made my whole night! I got into my dream school!
This is a long post, but its recapping the days I missed to post a post. Sorry that sounded redundant. Well until next post and see what happens from here on...
Laters.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
One day before...
I didnt write a post yesterday after I said I would. All that happened yesterday was that I went to class and then went to swimming afterwards. I did forget my towel and goggles at the house so I had drive back and get them.
Yesterday in Statistics we were doing an activity and we got to eat 100 M&Ms which was awesome. After the class ended the girl in front of me asked me if I wanted their hundred pieces because they would get a stomach ache so I said sure! More candy for me! :)
Then swimming was fun especially since we are diving for all the different types of strokes. I still cant get it right, but I will soon. Tomorrow I have swimming again and we will be doing the same again, but this time we'll do relay dives. Looking forward to it.
So what I cant wait is that Harry Potter comes out Friday midnight, but tomorrow I will be waiting in line with my friends to see the movie. Im excited. I hope its something similar to the book, but we'll see.
Other than that nothing interesting has happened. I asked advice from my friends for the situation of the two boys that I guess like me? Two of them said I should break hearts, but that sounds cruel and mean. Then again I thought if I don't do it then it will be done to me, so maybe it is a good thing. I have to give it some deep thought. Then I think they're right. Let me finish with them and start looking for someone else. Someone who meets my expectations and what I want.
Looking for someone is really especially since Im not really out out, but I am out. Also, I have a poor gaydar that doesn't help me at all.
No one has approached me yet if they read these posts. I'll just keep writing because it feels nice to let some of all of this out. Its like writing to someone, but not knowing who they are. Writing is something I like to do for a hobby not as a profession.
Until next post.
Laters.
Monday, November 15, 2010
An update...
So, its been a while since I last posted here. A lot has happened good and bad.
Let's start. Well I did get out and see that boy and it was a great day. It wasn't what I thought would happen, but I liked what happened towards the end. I lied down across his legs and he brought his arms over my chest. We were in the back of the nissan cube. There wasn't enough space so we went in the back. That was the best ride back to my friends house. Really romantic. Now I miss him.
You ask yourselves why am I missing him when I can text him or call him. Well thats the thing. It brings up the bad things that have happened. They way I saw it was the when Call of Duty: Black Ops came out he put his video game before me. All he did was play COD. What a way to set his priorities and that got me mad. I confronted him about and we sorted it out or at least I thought. He told me he was sick. I told my friends and one of them tells me he is lying. I believe him, but I don't know what to think. I just told him to be careful while taking his meds and not to overdose. I hope he gets well soon so I can see him.
This one guy who I added me facebook claimed to know me when he didn't. I accepted him and then we started chatting. What he did next was creepy. He stalked my photos and profile. Creepy much? I think so. I told him and he was like "I know" I was like wtf? You're mega weird. Then he asked me when are you going to take me out for dinner? I was like "Woah chill there I don't even know you and you want me to take you out on a date?" He was like "yeah sure why not?" I said "I don't even know you very well and you want me to take you out". So it has been weird with that kid.
I just realized that I have 4 more weeks of school before the semester is over. That is quick and time is not on my side. I still have a lot to do and its not homework related.
Oh my ex started talking to me again and it has been ok. Today I saw him and we just chilled. We watched movies. After today I am confused on who I like now. I still have feelings for him, but I also have feelings for the other boy. Im just so confused. Ugh I hate this...
I also got into a huge fight with one of my friends and that lasted well not a long time, but it did seem like it was forever. I was just trying to protect my bff and then I said something and thats where he got mad at me. I was getting so tired with it I didn't care if I lost him as a friend. In the end, I had to make things right and we dropped the whole thing. Now we are playing a mean joke on all of our friends around us. They still think we are not friends and hate each other. We are going to make a scene and then just laugh it off.
Ugh... I have a headache right now and I think its because Im lacking sleep. Then I have swimming tomorrow, but Im looking forward to it because we are diving now and that is mega fun. I just hate it when my goggles come down and I cant afford to open my eyes in the water. There's just to much chlorine in there and I'll end up with super red irritated eyes.
What else?
Im sorry for taking so long to post. I don't know who reads my posts because no one has written comments on my posts other than that other boy who got comment cherry. Other than that no one. So sorry to you, my readers.
Maybe I'll post tomorrow. Can't wait for Thursday midnight thats when Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 1 shows. Got my ticket and so my friends just got to wait it out in line lol. I am soooo stoked!!
Laters.
Let's start. Well I did get out and see that boy and it was a great day. It wasn't what I thought would happen, but I liked what happened towards the end. I lied down across his legs and he brought his arms over my chest. We were in the back of the nissan cube. There wasn't enough space so we went in the back. That was the best ride back to my friends house. Really romantic. Now I miss him.
You ask yourselves why am I missing him when I can text him or call him. Well thats the thing. It brings up the bad things that have happened. They way I saw it was the when Call of Duty: Black Ops came out he put his video game before me. All he did was play COD. What a way to set his priorities and that got me mad. I confronted him about and we sorted it out or at least I thought. He told me he was sick. I told my friends and one of them tells me he is lying. I believe him, but I don't know what to think. I just told him to be careful while taking his meds and not to overdose. I hope he gets well soon so I can see him.
This one guy who I added me facebook claimed to know me when he didn't. I accepted him and then we started chatting. What he did next was creepy. He stalked my photos and profile. Creepy much? I think so. I told him and he was like "I know" I was like wtf? You're mega weird. Then he asked me when are you going to take me out for dinner? I was like "Woah chill there I don't even know you and you want me to take you out on a date?" He was like "yeah sure why not?" I said "I don't even know you very well and you want me to take you out". So it has been weird with that kid.
I just realized that I have 4 more weeks of school before the semester is over. That is quick and time is not on my side. I still have a lot to do and its not homework related.
Oh my ex started talking to me again and it has been ok. Today I saw him and we just chilled. We watched movies. After today I am confused on who I like now. I still have feelings for him, but I also have feelings for the other boy. Im just so confused. Ugh I hate this...
I also got into a huge fight with one of my friends and that lasted well not a long time, but it did seem like it was forever. I was just trying to protect my bff and then I said something and thats where he got mad at me. I was getting so tired with it I didn't care if I lost him as a friend. In the end, I had to make things right and we dropped the whole thing. Now we are playing a mean joke on all of our friends around us. They still think we are not friends and hate each other. We are going to make a scene and then just laugh it off.
Ugh... I have a headache right now and I think its because Im lacking sleep. Then I have swimming tomorrow, but Im looking forward to it because we are diving now and that is mega fun. I just hate it when my goggles come down and I cant afford to open my eyes in the water. There's just to much chlorine in there and I'll end up with super red irritated eyes.
What else?
Im sorry for taking so long to post. I don't know who reads my posts because no one has written comments on my posts other than that other boy who got comment cherry. Other than that no one. So sorry to you, my readers.
Maybe I'll post tomorrow. Can't wait for Thursday midnight thats when Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 1 shows. Got my ticket and so my friends just got to wait it out in line lol. I am soooo stoked!!
Laters.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Excited for tomorrow
Today was tiring. I've been sleeping late and have been having trouble to get up in the morning. Getting up late leads to me being late to class. Yesterday I was late and today I was late once again. Tomorrow I have no class which is beast! Along with today I had swimming. That tired me out BIG time. Don't get me wrong I love it and I like swimming, but damn today we started to doing the turns and I ended up with so much water up my nose that my head hurts a little right now.
So the reason Im excited for tomorrow is because I get to see the boy I just met. Not only that, but we both have feelings for each other. He dedicated a song to me and oh my gosh I loved. I told asked him if thats how he felts towards me and he said it fully described how he felt towards me. Im still trying to find a song to dedicate to him. I know I have a lot so trying to find will be kind of hard in the 2200 songs that I have. For him nothing is impossible.
I dont know what to expect tomorrow, but I know that both of us will have a good time. And no Im not talking about anything sexual going down. More along the lines of love and affection for each other. Love is not about sex. Although a lot of people associate it with love. Sure it is part of love and should have a balance in there too, but not all the time or even before getting to know the person.
Oh and I had to cut off one of my friends. He had a big crush on me and I liked him as a friend. I was starting to fall for him, but then I met the other boy and I immediately fell for him. The way things were going with the friend I cut off it would have caused problems for me in the future. It was probably the hardest thing I did, but I want to do this right. My last relationship was way too fast and complex. If this turns out well then I will try to talk to him again if he wants to. I've never done this and if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then Im sorry. I wont force him to do anything or would I force anyone to do anything.
Couple of things to do tomorrow morning: 1) Wash my car 2) get a haircut 3) shower 4) get gas and then go and get him. Just a couple of hours more and the wait will be over.
So the reason Im excited for tomorrow is because I get to see the boy I just met. Not only that, but we both have feelings for each other. He dedicated a song to me and oh my gosh I loved. I told asked him if thats how he felts towards me and he said it fully described how he felt towards me. Im still trying to find a song to dedicate to him. I know I have a lot so trying to find will be kind of hard in the 2200 songs that I have. For him nothing is impossible.
I dont know what to expect tomorrow, but I know that both of us will have a good time. And no Im not talking about anything sexual going down. More along the lines of love and affection for each other. Love is not about sex. Although a lot of people associate it with love. Sure it is part of love and should have a balance in there too, but not all the time or even before getting to know the person.
Oh and I had to cut off one of my friends. He had a big crush on me and I liked him as a friend. I was starting to fall for him, but then I met the other boy and I immediately fell for him. The way things were going with the friend I cut off it would have caused problems for me in the future. It was probably the hardest thing I did, but I want to do this right. My last relationship was way too fast and complex. If this turns out well then I will try to talk to him again if he wants to. I've never done this and if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then Im sorry. I wont force him to do anything or would I force anyone to do anything.
Couple of things to do tomorrow morning: 1) Wash my car 2) get a haircut 3) shower 4) get gas and then go and get him. Just a couple of hours more and the wait will be over.
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